All of this in the face of 2.7 million dollars in bonuses handed out to Central Office employees and teachers around the district for “scores improving” aka doing their jobs. Also, full size school busses with 2 or 3 students on them. The district has completely lost touch with reality in their spending. The citizens of Hartford, Connecticut and even around the USA should be infuriated that their tax dollars are channeled into a district that doesn’t do the right thing by its kids.

If you don’t believe in the disparity between urban and suburban schools, do these pictures help you see? And my final question is this: Would you send your kid to this school?

The tarp to keep water off the floor

Exposed fiberglass in the ceiling

broken windows taped with duct tape

water stains on ceiling tiles

I read the words started seven years ago and revised four years ago and they surprised me. I’ve been through a lot as a new teacher: four different adminstrative teams in four years, some very trying classes with students who pushed me to my limits but who taught me much, an extremely toxic environment last year when I really thought I was going to have to leave teaching altogether. With all of these experiences I thought the words I wrote as an idealistic college kid would at least be somewhat different, maybe even cynical. I read the words and found that every single one of them rang true to me even now.

My core values of teaching have stayed the same. I still believe that every kid can succeed in one way or another. I still believe in urban education that proves on a daily basis how the diverse and (now I’d add 4 years into this, sometimes sad) experiences my students come to school with, strengthen their ability to connect with texts and concepts. My belief in the power that education brings to the children of Hartford has not wavered. My belief that our kids, my kids in Hartford deserve better has only strengthened. I’d like to think the 21 year old who wrote that philosophy of ed would be proud of the 27 year old that is putting his words into practice.

There is a true danger in not knowing multiple sides to a story, or even knowing multiple stories.  Our students deserve knowing that there are varying layers to each story.  Adichie’s outside looking in viewpoint of American views on Africa are balanced by her own admission that she suffers from knowing on single stories of different peoples in her own life.  She shows that we fear what we don’t understand.

I want my kids to grow and learn that every person’s story is unique.  There are 6 billion stories on the earth at the moment, not to mention billions that have existed in times past.  Each thread is a part of a rich tapestry of experiences.  Adichie reminds us that power has a lot to do of what stories are told and when.  History is written by the winners of battles and wars.  However, all people deserve to have their stories shared, winners and losers.

We need to open our own eyes, we need to open the eyes of our children so that they can see that the world is big, the world is wide, and the world is complicated.  Children need to learn to be critical thinkers who take multiple inputs, multiple stories and try to learn what the truth actually is.  This is the nature of education.  The nature of education is to learn as much as possible, and then try to make sense of these varying ideas.

I wass truck mostly by what Adichie says, “I’ve always felt that it is impossible to engage properly with a place or a person without engaging with all of the stories of that place and that person.  The consequence of the single story is this:  It robs people of their dignity.”  It is our job to allow our children to learn the “balance of stories” so that they can understand themselves and others in the fullest way possible.  We need true critical thinking citizens for the good of the future of the United States and the good of the world.

I started the day with the announcement (you can read the transcript below).  I had a student help me with the announcement who I had in my first class as a fourth grader (she’s now in 7th grade, I can’t believe how fast time goes by).  She was a really tough kid, and made me work my ass off my first year.  She also made me cry several times (not in her presence) because I knew she was hurting a lot back then.  I tried my best with her, but she was actually moved from my class in November of my first year.  Now, as I looked up from reading my speech today about kindness, I handed her the phone and she began reciting.   She wrote about who she is and how proud she is of herself.  Her smile was ear to ear.  I realized something right in that moment.  Back in 2007 I didn’t help her at all, because I couldn’t at that moment, but she has grown to be a mature young lady wise beyond her years and protective of her peers.  She’s going to make an amazing adult.   After the announcement, as she went to leave she said, “Look Mister, I’m wearing our flag today.”  She pointed down to a small rainbow flag hanging out of the pocket of her cargo shorts.  I never have told her I’m gay, I am not “out” to students at school.  Never the less, I smiled and said, “You rock our flag, girl!”  She is so much braver than I could ever be, and I am humbled by her example.

I will never forget this day as long as I live.  Thank you to everyone who has helped me get to this place.  I only wish that the kids who committed suicide could have seen today.  They would have seen that this world is a beautiful place sometimes, you just have to look past the nonsense.   I do know that a great many more kids saw that they are cared for, they are loved, and I know that will make a difference.  And I know that those kids didn’t die in vain, they were a spark to light a shining revolution in how many people think.

Ellen’s interview with Joel Burns today…so amazing.

Good Morning Batchelder,

Today is a special day to prevent bullying in our schools.  Every year 35 percent of students experience bullying in schools either being the bully or the victim of bullying.  That means out of every 10 kids, 3 and a half of them are either bullied or have been bullies.  So if you are a kid who feels like no one understands you, believe me, there are 3 out of every 10 kids who do.  One of the best ways to end bullying is to show kindness and respect for each other.

Today is a day to remember that being kind can go a long way.  Not just today, but every day:  Tell the person next to you something great about them.  Help someone when they drop something on the ground.  Help yourselves, because you are the ones in control of you.  Never ever let anyone get to you, because you are better than that.  Be proud of who you are no matter what that is.  Being different is an amazing thing and it may not be the cool thing right now.  But when you are an adult it will be the one thing people like most about you.  Things will always get better because every second, every minute, and every day is a new opportunity to make life better.

(Student Poem Here)

Most of all, remember love is louder than hate.  Remember that no matter what, you have people here at school that care about you.  If you ever feel alone, or that you have no one to turn to, turn to your teachers.  We are here to make sure you are safe and happy.  We can help you.  We are here for you.  The issue of bullying is close to my heart, because when I was in school from 4^th Grade until 8^th Grade, I was bullied on a daily basis.  My teachers, especially in middle school helped me so much because they told me how talented I was, and made my life much easier.  I’m here to tell you, that if you are being bullied, if you feel like you don’t fit in, it gets better, I promise and you will see how beautiful life is, because life really is just that.  Before we end this announcement I’d like you to turn to the person next to you and say one good thing about them.  (pause)  If we all did that once a day that would be almost 600 kind things said.  Let’s make Batchelder a place where everyone feels safe and protected.  Believe in yourselves and be kind to each other.

What do you say when you want kids to believe in themselves, be kind to each other, and realize that no matter who they are, they are an excellent part of this world?  I’m sure it will come to me but for now I’m kind of at a loss…  Any suggestions?!  HELP!

As many of you may know, October 20th is to be a day of remembrance for LGBT teens who have committed suicide as well as a day to bring awareness to the issue of bullying in schools.  At my school we are going to have a day of kindness, simple as that.  We all could stand to respect each other more, no matter what the reason.  I’m hoping that the day of kindness will help students remember that they have the power to make the school community a positive place for all of their classmates.  And maybe just this small gesture will get the ball rolling and help out kids at our school, and in the community at large .

I’m especially happy that on National Coming Out Day, that I was able to start the ball rolling.  We all can help each other to understand each other better.

One example of these books is “Rosa” a picture book about Rosa Parks, the famous woman who refused to give up her seat to a white man and who’s arrest launched the Montgomery Bus Boycott.  I grew up learning that Mrs. Parks was a simple seamstress just trying to get home after a long day.  Often you would hear she didn’t get up because she was so tired from her day.  But Mrs. Parks actually states in her own autobiography “Rosa Parks: My Story”, “People always say that I didn’t give up my seat because I was tired, but that isn’t true. I was not tired physically, or no more tired than I usually was at the end of a working day. I was not old, although some people have an image of me as being old then. I was forty-two. No, the only tired I was, was tired of giving in”

“Rosa” allows students to see the Rosa Parks was more than a single person acting out on her own, but rather an activist, a woman involved in the NAACP.  The book shows that Rosa was a part of a much larger movement, and not just a freak incident.  One might ask, why is that important to clarify?  Well, if you look at it from an individualistic approach, one would get the sense that an individual can change all of society.  This is just untrue.  Had Mrs. Parks not been involved with the NAACP and connected to other black activists, the Montgomery bus boycott would never have been a success.    The lesson here is that students need to learn a very valuable lesson, only a well organized movement can work for change.  And students need to know this so that they can become full citizens of the United States.   America is not a country of rugged individuals but rather a country of sweeping movements.  Should they wish to become community organizers or leaders in anyway, they need to learn the power of the group.  Knowledge is the key to our often self-disenfranchised populations, if they know the power of their vote, and of organizing, they will be more likely to do so.

What is controversial about the book, is that the book is a bit unflinching in its depiction of white prejudice and discrimination wrought on black people.  Personally, I have no problem with this because guess what?  Its the truth.  How can one elevate Rosa Parks to hero status without explaining what she had to go through to begin with?  Some might say that the depictions of white people could scare the students, or even make them afraid of white people.  One should teach about civil rights activists by omitting how bad racism was/is, or details about the civil rights activist’s life.  I don’t buy that.  Kids are smart, and they are perceptive.  They have an innate sense of what injustice looks like.  If you teach them in a balanced approach that shows the comparative struggles of all the people (different sub-groups of whites like the Irish, Jews and Italians among many other groups) they will learn that civil rights is less about struggle of black against white, but rather the movement toward true equality for all people.

I can only write this blog post from the perspective of a gay man.  The gay suicide crisis, if you’d like to call it that, is nothing new.  As I blogged previously, I was bullied and felt depressed for multiple reasons, but mainly other students at my school picked up on the fact that I was different.  It didn’t matter why.  However, as a gay teen (even if I was still finding that out at the moment) I had many fears and experiences that made me feel that I was bad, negative, even evil.  I grew up in a staunchly Roman Catholic family.  I was taught to believe that marriage was between a man and a woman, and that sex was for pro-creation only.  My deep religious views scared me, I felt that I must be sinning if I had feelings for another man.  When I was finding myself as a young adult I internalized gay = wrong.  And I felt that I’d never fit in with anyone, that I’d be forced to leave my Church.  As I’ve grown I continue to hold strong religious beliefs, but they have changed.   I do identify myself as a Catholic, but I have trouble with attending church, and also with many of the beliefs that are beign professed from the Church.  This is me now at 26, however, as a 13 year old, I still lived in fear of what would happen to me if I was gay.

At home, my family always supported me.  But I think they always knew I was different, odd.  I didn’t feel safe talking to my parents about how I felt, because I knew that even if they accepted and loved me, the gay issue would remain to be a problem.  Partially that is linked to the religiosity of my family, but also to other contributing factors.  In the end my family continues to struggle with my homosexuality, it is not easy for them, but at least I do feel loved.  The religion and familial aspects are not only a 1-2 punch because there’s one more.

Add to the turbulent situation, the fact that at school there was no way I would have been accepted for being who I am.  Anyone who veered from the course in anyway was immediately targeted where I grew up.  And I remember sitting loosely in a confederation of different kids at lunch, when I didn’t sit alone.  We really had little in common accept for the fact that we were different.   I just accepted the position of an outcast because I felt that my feelings toward other males was obviously the reason why I was shunned, thus I deserved it.

I was the “other” at home, school, and church.  Where else could I turn?  When people are shocked that kids who identify as LGBT commit suicide, I am not.  I’m not because I lived it, and thankfully survived.  But this is where I get to my point.  The title of this post is “Just Who Should Protect the Children?”  Bottom line:  anyone and everyone.  Teachers:  If you see a kid being bullied in your class, speak up.  Administrators:  Create a tolerant school environment that values acceptance of all people.  Social Workers, Guidance Counselors and other care providers:  Notice the warning signs you have been trained to spot and deal with them with immediacy and desicivly.  Parents:  Try hard to accept your children, no matter what, they are a light in this world, don’t extinguish or attempt to diminish that light, even if it may be rainbow colored.  Community members:  Be mindful that we need to all begin to be kinder and more gentler to each other.  Clergy members:  I understand your duty to uphold the tenants of your faith, but please consider that compassion and mercy are central to all world religions.  Coaches:  Don’t allow for your athletes to use homophobic and sexist remarks towards each other, those effects can be damaging.

The protection of LGBT youth begins with everyone, it begins with you.

When I was 12 and 13 years old, I was bullied tremendously at Flood Middle School in my hometown of Stratford, CT.  Things were thrown at me.  I was shoved from behind on a daily basis.  I was called fag, and gay.  I was picked last in gym class.  I was ignored.  Kids picked on me because I never seemed to wear the “right clothes.”  Kids thought I was weird because I loved to read, and that I was intelligent.  I sat by myself at lunch on many days and didn’t know where to turn for help.  I had rocks thrown at the back of my head.  And there was no where to hide.

Two things kept me from being in the same predicament as this young boy from Texas.  My teachers took notice in me.  And they acted.  Had they not, who knows what would have happened?  I came from a loving home and my parents did what they could for me, they told me that I was just wonderful.  They tried to lessen the blows that I received from the bullys.  Half the time they didn’t even know about what was happening at school because I felt so ashamed.  And for 6 and a half hours a day Monday-Friday, 10 months a year, I was alone and left to the unrelenting pressures of trying so very hard to fit in to a school community of students that clearly did not want me there.

I remember my 7th Grade Homeroom and Science teacher, who actually happened to be a Texas native, saw a boy throw me into a locker one morning.  And she quietly, with a lot of grace handled the situation, the boy was sent to in school suspension and I went on my way to class, obviously shaken.  But then she did something remarkable that helped me in ways she may never know.  She went to her team of teachers and told them that I was being targeted.  They immediately sought help from the guidance counselor, who then started having weekly lunches with me, and counseled me on ways to not let the students bother me.  And then things started to change for me, I was able to feel better about myself because I knew I had a bunch of people looking out for me.  I had teachers who nurtured my talents and I can’t thank them enough for all they did for me.  If I hadn’t had them, I don’t know where I’d be today.

Now, as a teacher myself, I have made it my mission to curtail bullying.  If I see the slightest act of bullying it gets taken care of immediately.  There’s no need for grandiose zero tolerance bully policies, not when you can nurture and educate.  In the end of the day, the person with the problem is not the victim, its the bully.  And we need to help them too.  So often, it is easy to hide behind the need to rush through the day, but if you know your classes and your students you can see which ones are having difficulty with others and which aren’t.  Once you see those things, act.  Ask for help!  Schools have so many resources, even urban ones!  Ask another teacher to help you come up with a plan.  It doesn’t take much to go above and beyond for a kid being targeted.  Tell them they are talented, tell them they are wonderful.  Because every human being contributes something beautiful to this world.  And we cannot afford to lose them when they are 13 to violence and hatred.  We need to learn from Asher Brown, and all the countless other victims of bullying so that we can prevent tragedies like this from happening again.

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/metropolitan/7220896.html