Days Off and Chaos

So, how do you cause chaos in one easy step? 

Take a day off!

Apparently, Hartford Public Schools has decided they no longer need to supply substitute teachers, even when the need for them is posted two days in advance.  All I wanted to do was take my one and only day off this year to submit my BEST portfolio, something that is necessary for me to maintain my certification as a teacher in Connecticut.  When I come back the next day, satisfied and happy to be done with such a long process of writing, revising, and submitting my portfolio, I am hit with the knowledge that there were no subs and that my students were split up and dispersed among the other fourth grade and third grade teachers in the building.

I understand that many people think teachers take too many days off, especially considering our schedule.  But the fact of the matter is, we are given 5 personal days and 20 sick days in our contract a year.  This year I’ve not used 1 sick day, and I’ve only taken a personal day yesterday…great track record if you ask me.  But even if it was a year when more things happened, I’d still be in the my rights to take my days.  No one tells people in other jobs that they have too much time off, and I’m sick of hearing it from School officials and people outside of education. 

The saddest part of all is that the city would rather let 23 students not learn all day then pay for a substitute.  In the end, the students suffer yet again, all because the administration vindictively does not send substitutes.

Surprise!

Well, I finally am back up and running here on the misseducation of an urban teacher!  It’s been a very very long time.  Unfortunately, life got out of control crazy and I stopped my blogging.  Well, I’m back and look for some new posts coming up!

I don’t want to go home.

“I don’t want to go home.”

I started my morning this morning like any other, making copies, talking to my colleagues, getting my kids from outside.  And then it happens.  I’m in the classroom with most of my children, and I hear a shriek from the hallway.  So, curious (and partially terrifed) I went out into the hallway to see just what was the matter.  One of my young gentlemen was yelling out and throwing his things about and dropping things everywhere.   Between sobs and sniffling I was baffled as to what had set him off before 8:30 in the morning.  So I had him go to sit in the “Quiet Corner” for a bit.  Within five minutes he was much more calm (still sniffling), I found out he and his Mom had got into a fight and he said, “I don’t want to go home.”  Now times may have sometimes been rough at home, but I can’t fathom ever saying that to a teacher.  But to put this in perspective, a tragedy rocked our school community this week. 

Over the weekend, a father of one of my students shot and killed the mother of his children’s best friend and shot another woman at their home.  The incident resulted in the first homicide in Hartford in 2008 and occured literally right across the street from the school.  Its truly a tragedy that effects the community in the deep way, as many people knew and liked this man, and its unthinkable that such a thing could happen.  But, one thing that stands to the testament of the strength of the community and that the school exists as an extension and serves the community, the principal, social worker, and family resource aid all came to the home of the family the day after (a Sunday), and helped the mother get through the tragedy and help tell the boy of the situation (who thankfully was away from the home along with his brother during the altercation).  I am proud and happy to say I am part of a staff who has a leader who would take it upon himself to help a family in his own community.  Of course, since we aren’t in a suburb “grief conselors were not on hand,” but something more powerful was:  An ethos in which the community exists that shows that we take care of our own.  I am proud that I can say we because I am a part of the life of this community, and I only hope I can become more a part of the community.

And maybe it might not be a positive experience to go home for my students.  But at least it can be a safe home in the school, and in the arms of the community.

“When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace.” ~ Jimi Hendrix

This video clip speaks for itself for those of you that speak Spanish.  For those of you who don’t, here is my translation:

On the eight day, God after so much work In order to destress, and later to return
Said everything looked well, its time to rest
And he went for a walk through outerspace

Who could have imagined the same God upon returning
Would find everything in an infernal disorder
And he would find himself unemployed
Other than the cup that grows each year without stopping

After this incident there are those who have seen Him
Alone in the streets passing by
He walks patiently hoping for someone
With home he could calm or
He could talk with

Meanwhile this world spins and spins
Without being able to stop it
And down here below a few manipulate us
Like pieces of chess
I am not the type of idiot
Easily convinced
But I will speak the truth
Until the blind can see

Perhaps it was the lack of an occupation
Or excessive loneliness
God didn’t fight anymore
And he walked off to another place
And it would be our punishment
There was no other remedy
But to adore Micheal Jackson,  Bill Clinton or Tarzan

Its much harder to be a king without a crown
To be an average person Poor God doesn’t come out in the magazines
Because he isn’t a model, musical artist, or of the royal family

Meanwhile this world spins and spins
Without being able to stop it
And down here below a few manipulate us
Like pieces of chess
I am not the type of idiot
Easily convinced
But I will speak the truth
Until the blind can see

Racism doesn’t exist.

Why not be incendiary for my first post of 2008?  Of course racism exists, but when I was in university just one short year ago I heard this from a future teacher’s mouth:  “Racism doesn’t exist anymore, especially in Connecticut.”  Well unfortunately, here we are in the year of our Lord 2008 (2008 CE for my non-Christian friends), and two issues of race occured in the three short days back to school last week.  These two situations were unrelated, one was with staff, one was with my students, but both show the pervasiveness of racism in our society…and yes there is racism even in Connecticut:

Situation 1, the almost race riot in my classroom:

I was teaching Math and all of a sudden I heard, “SHUT UP!”  One of my students just looooves to scream it at any moments notice so I thought to myself, “Great, what now!” 

Well I said, “Why are we screaming shut up in the middle of Math?” 

“A*** just said that his grandmother doesn’t like black people and I’m gonna fight him!” 

So I said, “A*** is this true?”

“Yes,” replied A***, “but I don’t like that she says those things, and it makes me sad cuz I have a lot of black friends.”

So I said to the first student, “Unfortunately, some older people do not know that its a bad thing to dislike people based on who they are.  Fortunately, A*** knows the difference and was only stating that he was not happy that his grandmother holds those negative views.”

“Yeah, and my grandmother can be really mean sometimes so i don’t like it one bit!”

First student smiles and says, “ok, I guess I get it now.”

In the end my students seemed to understand that race is a difficult issue to deal with, and both students got a better understanding of how the older ways of looking at race still haunt us today.

 Flash forward to the next day and we have situation number 2, the staff jokester:

“You guys want to hear a great joke?!”  calls out a colleague of mine.  And I cringe because I know her jokes are often off color, offensive, just plain awful.  So as I look down at my water bottle (customary practice for when she tells a joke), she begins.  “I heard this guy ordered a bunch of mail order brides from India…and when they got here he scratched off their dots, he sent back the two non-winners, and kept the bride who’s scratched off dot said, “You’ll win a million dollars and 40 camels!” 

Uncomfortable laughter from some teachers, silence from others followed her joke.  I kept my head down for much of the rest of lunch.  Its sad to know that this teacher often works with younger people who want to be teachers.  Even sadder still that she works in a diverse student population.  And saddest yet, she was Hartford born and raised. 

People continually forget to understand that racism is so ingrained into our society that little jokes and comments become acceptable, and if not acceptable, tolerated.  Hopefully as time goes on people will find that these incidents will be less and less tolerated. At least in the case of these incidents the students learned and understood more than the adults, since they are the future.

Africa DISCOVE(RED)

As promised, after a short hiatus for Christmas (Happy Holidays to everyone by the way), here is my follow up post to how my students have recieved the mini-unit on Africa.  I began as any good teacher would by showing them where Africa is on the globe and on a world map that they all have.  Its my goal that at least my students will know geography of the US as well as the World.  After the niceties of cartography were over, I began to really talk about Africa as a continent, and began to draw on the student’s prior knowledge.  What follows is a transcript of what transpired in part of the creation of a K-W-L Chart about Africa…

“What do you guys already know about Africa?”

Student A: “There are a lot of sick and poor people there”

“Well, what do you mean by that?”

Student B:  “The all have AIDS”

Student A:  “No, they don’t all got AIDS”

Myself:  “Correct, they don’t all have AIDS but 22.5 million of them are infected with HIV/AIDS”(That is from a UN estimate for sub-Saharan Africa)

Several students:  “EWWW!!!”

Myself:  “HIV is a disease that anyone can get, and it should never be talked about with EW.  You wouldn’t say ‘ew’ if someone had the flu or cancer, so don’t do it for any disease.”

Student C:  “Why doesn’t the government do anything about the poor people and people with AIDS?”

Student A:  “Because there is no oil in Africa”

At that point I think you could have pushed me over with a feather.  Just earlier that week a teacher had been complaining that our kids only know about what the famous Hip hop stars rap about in their songs.  And I kind of chuckled to myself, because although many of the popular hip hop stars of today rap about bling, and are pop sell-outs, many hip hop artists talk about the issues that effect the world the most.  But due to those prejudices, even I myself tend to think that my kids live a life in which they are unaware of politics, or of the way the world works.  But from this discussion and others like it with my students, I’ve come to a theory that not only do they know what is going on in the world, they also feel that they cannot do anything about it, because they feel they have no voice to speak out.  Not to mention their own issues are so great that they supercede those of the global community.  Anyway, back to Africa and my students…

We spent the next ten minutes talking more about Africa, and what the students knew.  They knew about the Sahara, about Egypt…some students even said all knowledge originated in Africa ( a very cool idea that is supported by a lot of scholarship and throws a wrench into Eurocentrisim).  They knew slaves came from Africa to the New World.  They knew about the many different conflicts and wars in Africa including Darfur in the Sudan.

Needless to say 2008 will begin with many more topics to be discussed and I am hoping that I can perhaps give Hartford Public Schools my own version of the mission statement:  “Hartford’s system of schools exists to provide all students with access to participation in a global economy”  I’ve learned to play the game of justifying my existence fairly well.  Even if I have to teach reading and math all day, you better believe I’ve been incorporating a variety of voices from different walks of life, different cultures, and different view points.  And of course, my students make great connections using Reading Strand C of the Connecticut Mastery Test…

 You may be wondering the significance of the title of this post Africa DISCOVE(RED).  I usually don’t promote certain charitable groups, however this is an initiative created by several retailers that have especially designed products which procedes from the purchase of those products goes to a charity that provides treatment to people living with HIV/AIDS who would otherwise not be able to afford treatment.

I have learned that there is light, even in the darkest of places…

I have a tale to tell…

The most important aspect of this blog for me, is building awareness of urban education.  I believe strongly that in life we are faced with challenges that need to be overcome.  But they cannot be overcome alone, and as a society we have a lot of equalizing to do between those of us that have, and those of us who have not.  Where this connects to my students is that this week I plan on introducing the topic of Africa, and the connections between children in Africa, and themselves.  I cannot wait to hear about what the students think about the state of affairs in a continent they may not be able to find on a map… but I’m sure empathy will be one of them.  I will be reporting back on what comes of this mini-unit.  Below is a video from Madonna’s last tour (I know Madonna is a controversial character, however she makes a good point with what she says in this piece…and the connections between all people who suffer are apparent):

When I was hungry
You gave me food
When I was thirsty
You gave me drink
I was a stranger
And you took me in
Naked and you clothed me
I was sick
And you visited me
I was in prison
And you came unto me…
…Verily I say unto you,
in as much as you have done unto one of the least of my brothers, that you have done unto me”Matthew 25, 35-37, 40

Collaboration: The Way to Keep Sane in a Crazy Environment

One thing I feel that I’ve often overlooked is the one piece of teaching that keeps me the most sane, and is central to my resiliency… collaboration.  Being able to talk to other teachers and professionals about what goes on in my classroom is inmeasurably helpful to not only surviving but thriving in an environment that may not always be the most condusive to longevity.  My biggest bit of advice here is to find the people in your building that truly have the student’s best intrest in mind, are trustworthy, and have parrallel philosophies of education.  Impossible?  Not necessarily, I’ve found many wonderful professionals in my building that have truly been there for me during those rough days that make me want to pack my bags and run to the suburbs (ew gross!).

Collaboration in my mind, can almost be used as a weapon…united we stand, divided we fall cliques aside, I find that often, if I talk to enough teachers about an issue in the classroom, I figure out a solution to the problem.  Today was one of those days that makes me so happy to be a teacher, I was able to teach, my students behaved, and overall staff was quite cordial.  What pray tell caused this wonderful ray of sunshine on a dreary winter storm day?  Well, after months of collaborating with my co-teacher special educator, the administration and the literacy facilitator, one of my students with disabilities was finally granted a one on one paraprofessional!  Basically, this has changed my whole classroom environment pretty substantially, especially in regards to the student who has many educational and social needs that will finally be met because not only will he be included in the regular education classroom, but he’ll also get the chance to have his own personal educational needs met.  I am praying a prayer of Thanksgiving to the teaching Gods as we speak .  Anyway, jut thought I’d share some more good news from the Heartbeat!  To all the teachers out there that are just starting out, and to all the pre teaching students, don’t worry, just ask a colleague, you’d be amazed at what you can do!

Hope

After reflecting on last week’s posting, I thought that it sounded rather hopeless, as if these kids have nothing going for them, and/or they are all in the worst shape ever.  But I think that is not the picture I want to paint of this experience.  Yes it gets overwhelming, and hard, but there is also a lot to say for the rewarding part of teaching.  Not to mention, the many talents of my students, even if they don’t always translate into that perfect test score.  Here are some of the reasons I continue to go to work everyday to teach:

• I have two of the most fantastic breakdancers in my classroom, they pull moves that I could never do myself, back flips, head stands, spins.  Its amazing.
• I have five kids that draw non stop all day long, and a wall full of pictures to prove it, they are some of the most talented artists, and their subject matter varies from anti-war posters to Fall leaves to pictures of snowflakes to pictures of their neighborhoods, all unprovoked by myself.
• I have a student who somehow makes me smile everyday with her kindness and high regard for her peers and the school, she’s going to make a fantastic adult one day.
• I have three prolific writers who write me the great American novel everytime I ask for a mere page.  They offer the most amazing insights in various genres including free-style raps, short stories, and poetry.
• I have nine children that in the midst of chaos will sit and listen hoping that they are setting a good example for the rest of the students.
• I have a student who is of Spanish (from Spain) and Indian descent (by way of Guyana) who is being raised Jewish, practices Hinduism, and speaks Spanish, English, Hebrew, and Hindi fluently.
• I have many students who sing songs all day long like Soulja Boy, Alicia Keys, Keisha Cole… at least I have a hip soundtrack to teach by.
• I have 23 students who bring the most diverse backgrounds to the table.

For as many reasons as I have to not want to do this, I have so many more that keep me going.  And I hope that I can inspire more people to come to cities and do this work, because I have 23 inspirations that keep me going everyday.

Hell is for children

Because Hell,  Hell is for children/And you know that their little lives can become such a mess/Hell/Hell is for children/And you shouldn’t have to pay for your love with your bones and your flesh…~Hell is for Children, Pat Benatar

 Being immersed in urban society is often a hard pill to swallow.  Sometimes it seems like my students live in quiet desperation.  They are sad, quiet, and all of a sudden they explode in anger.  Some of them do not have the language to express how they feel.  Many of them spend the weekends by themselves without much adult supervision, lost to their own lives in their rooms and the streets.  Every Monday, they invade my classroom running at me, telling me all the things they’ve felt all weekend.  I have children who write in their journals to me about their home lives.  And I have a hard time trying to justify why it was fine for me to grow up without a want in the world, when so many more children, the majority in fact, live sometimes without proper food, without clothes, even sometimes without a home.  And we live in a society that permits this to happen, while so many people live sometimes hopeless, often tragic lives, the few on top reap all the benefits.  And as someone on the front line who sees children that benefit from having free breakfast and lunch because, without that they would not be able to eat, this time of year hurts the most.

Today one of my students who I actually student taught when she was in third grade, was refusing to work, and having an attitude problem.  When I pressed her as to why this was happening, she all of a sudden let out all that she’s been going through over the last year.  Her family is separating, a new woman is in her father’s life, and her Mom lost her job, so in order to pay her mortgage, Mom has to share a room with my student so that she can rent out the room to make ends meet.

Another student of mine told me of how they get locked in the basement with the lights off when they are punished, and that student also told another teacher the same thing independently, without my having told that teacher, which is basically saying its true.

 I have a student who’s mother overdosed on drugs when she was only 6 months old, and now she lives with her aunt in a 3 bedroom apartment with 11 people residing there.

I have a student who cries in school almost every morning because she’s been up all night listening to her parents fight.

 I have a student who it is feared is being sexually assaulted, but who refuses to talk about what is going on with anyone. 

I see children everyday who starve for attention, who ache for love.  And my heart breaks everyday because I know that even if I am the best teacher in the World, our society will continue to create situations where people have to make decisions that come from somewhere between a rock and a hard place.  Thanksgiving was particularly hard this year, the night before I had told my dad about two of my kids who had suspected abuse in their homes.  My Dad brought up one of the situations while at dinner, and I really couldn’t eat anymore after that. 

Everyday I drive home through my school district and two others on my way to my apartment, and I go through some rougher neighborhoods, and when I get home, I park my car in the privately secured parking lot, I walk to my secured building and unlock the door.  I walk up the flight of stairs to open my door with a lock and deadbolt, and I enter my corner of the world where I’ve created a peaceful place for myself and my boyfriend.  And its hard because even though I live in the same city as my kids, I live a very different life.  And sometimes I feel incredibly guilty.  I know I’m doing more for these kids than most people do.  I know I give of myself often, and willingly.  But it just seems like its never enough.  And to make matters worse, I feel completely and utterly overwhelmed at the moment with school.  I dont think I’m an effective teacher because my classroom management needs improvement.  I have students with needs that I just cannot meet as a single elementary educator.  I think about how if these students were in a school in the suburbs, and they exhibited even half of the needs that my children do, they would have all the resources in the world hurled upon them.  The inequity makes me sick to my stomach.  I know I’m only one person, and I know I can’t change the world myself.  But I need people to help.  I need more teachers dedicated to students from the cities.  More importanlty I need to help build a society where poverty, domestic violence, sexual abuse, racism, classism, sexism, homophobia, and inequality are not tolerated.  So I’m hoping maybe, even though this blog is coming from a very dark place, you all as my readers can spread the word that its time for a revolution.  And its time for us to take care of our own people.  The two videos below are hitting home quite strong right now.  So please watch them.  And I hope if you can, you will make a change for the better for all kids, and especially children of the cities.

One by Mary J. Blige & U2

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XlHnHY_xQVg

Runaway Love by Ludacris ft.  Mary J. Blige

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7OSqzchdks